Strong at the Broken Places
by inconsistentlypresent
Summary: Minkowski tries to put on a brave face. [A self-indulgent Hemingway pastiche in 1st person.] [Wolf 359 fic set after Change of Mind.]


This morning the shower water was warm for the first time in weeks. I washed quickly. "Thank you, Hera," I said to the ceiling as I finished getting dressed in my uniform.

"My pleasure, commander," a disembodied voice responded. "Though I must admit, I had to scrimp on heating the observatory deck in order to heat the water. I assumed you wouldn't mind."

"I don't. And I'm sure Eiffel will very much appreciate the hot water."

"That's good to hear. So. How are you doing today?"

"Fine."

"Alright. Good. That's good! Should I wake up Eiffel and tell him to prepare the morning rations?"

"No, thank you, Hera. I should do it myself."

I went to the kitchen and gathered up some rations. Then I floated up to the observatory deck. It took only five minutes. Though I still missed solid ground, zero gravity had its benefits.

Jacobi and Kepler were still. I closed the door behind me. They were in separate corners. I set the magnetic tray onto the wall, where it stuck instead of drifting off.

My eyes were drawn to the large windows. Starlight from Wolf 359 struck the windows. I watched the red dwarf star for a few seconds. Its scarlet surface was constantly shifting. It hurt my eyes. I watched it for a few more seconds. I shivered.

It was cold here. I started to leave.

Jacobi raised his head. "You're dead." He had said the same thing yesterday.

"I'm pretty sure I'm still alive."

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

I looked at his wrists. They were still in handcuffs.

"You don't."

"Oh, you bitch –" Jacobi leapt forward.

I drew my gun. Jacobi stopped. He was grinning.

"What, are you going to kill me? Like you killed her? Go on then. Shoot me."

"Jacobi, stand down," Kepler said.

Jacobi whipped around to look at Kepler. The cords in his neck bulged. "No, you – you do not have the right to tell me to stand down. You do _not_." But he did not advance.

I backed off. My gun was still raised in one hand. He still did not follow, so I exited the observatory deck. I made sure all the locks were in place. One of my hands shook.

I put away the gun as I came across Eiffel. He rubbed his eyes. "Mornin', commander," he said. "How are our favorite prisoners? Still bitter about losing control of the station?"

"They're pleasant as ever. How's Lovelace and the Urania?"

"Our ticket out of here is starting to look a lot less like a ticket and more like just a scrap of paper. It needs repairs. A lot of them. Lovelace is still out cold. But hey, getting possessed by aliens must take a toll on the body. I bet she'll be up and at 'em soon."

"Right." I closed my eyes. "Of course. Can you check on the second hydraulics system in the engineering room? Hera was reporting some weird fluctuations in the readings yesterday."

"Right-o." Eiffel did a salute. It was sloppy and would not have been acceptable in the Air Force. But I didn't correct him. "What'll you be up to?"

I thought of Maxwell's body, stiff and motionless on the floor. It was in the one of the labs, covered with a white sheet. The handbook dictated immediate jettison of non-recyclable wastes. I would need to do that soon.

"Hello? Minkowski? Anyone in there?"

"I'm sorry. I'm going to check the Urania. See what damages were done to it, and if it's fixable. I hope it's fixable."

"As someone very much on Team Hope-It's-Fixable, good luck." Eiffel's hand hovered near my shoulder. Instead of clapping it, he pulled back. "But seriously, commander. If you want to talk about anything . . ."

"Thank you, Eiffel. But I'm fine. Hey, did Hera tell you about the hot water?"

"What?" Eiffel grinned. Sometimes it took so little to distract him. I envied him that. "Hera, when were you going to tell me?" he asked the ceiling.

"I wanted to see your face when Minkowski told you."

"And was it worth it?" Eiffel made a face at one of the optical monitors.

"You stink, Officer Eiffel. Go take a shower."

"Yeah, right. You can't even smell me. Wait. Can you? No, you can't. AIs don't have olfactory glands. Right?" Pause. "Right, Hera?"

I moved away, deeper into the station. My hands were shaking again. Finally I stopped near the number three engine. Nobody would come here.

I glanced out the window. Wolf 359 glowed. It taunted me. As I would do facing any enemy, I brought the gun out of its holster and pointed it at the window. If I were outside the station, floating in space, the bullet would go straight into the star's center.

I cocked the gun, then fired. I could not help flinching at the noise.

It wasn't loaded. I knew this. Yet it was still terribly hard to pull the trigger.

It hadn't felt so hard when I did the same to Maxwell.

I turned my head away from the window. My shoulders heaved silently. After a while I wiped my face and went back to repair the Urania.


End file.
